In the past week things have gone well

Well Chuch and school is mostly what's been going on and that's been going pretty well. Haha during sunday school a little girl was telling me what all she's allergic too and it was quite a bit of stuff.. she told me she's allergic to mermaids, bats , and pumpkins.  I asked her if she had seen a mermaid before she said no because she was allergic to them. Pretty smart for a 5/6 year old. Gotta love little kids.. most of the time! :-P  then trying to do math.. i hope to catch up tomorrow i got 2 lessons done yesterday i was hoping to do the same but didn't i didn't even correct all the problems i got wrong.. oh well. I have a few more chapters in this history book then can move on to the 2nd one fun fun.. I am so glad i'm homeschooled. Work was today that went pretty well.. I sold 1 candy bar.. whoop-de-doo! haha. hopefully i'll sell more later and at my thursday daycare job which starts next week! yay! Got to work with Jana again which was really fun! I'm working more now on applying to the grocery stores and such i'm hoping that'll work out wish me luck!

yummy dinner

I had a very good dinner! it was awesome we had hungarian goulash with rice :-D yay! well the yesterday it snowed that was really cool i went and took pictures i didn't my ussual mini snowman i would make but oh well. i had a good time and i came inside and drank a lot of warmed tea. i babysat a 2 year old from 12 till past 5.. i was worried at 1st about what i would do with a 2 year old for that long but it went well will didn't take a nap but it went alright other then that and once he just wouldn't finish peaches before i would give him some goldfish but oh well. i had fun playing with will he would jump on me and say' gotcha ' and i would pick him up and tickle him and be like no i don't think so and tell will was my prisoner and tickle him and later dump him on the couch or something. I even would put him on my back i would just have to walk like a hunchback because he wouldn't hold on to my neck tightly enough all the time. Will had 2 great danes one was in the basement the other one was upstairs he was huge! He wasn't exactly taller then me but i wasn't much taller then him. Twice i forgot to put the stool back on the couch so he wouldn't go on the couch and would find him on it i would shoo him off and thankfully he did get off but it was grudgingly.  He's the little boy on top of my blog. While i found the shows we watched at times funny what i really had the best time with was playing with play dough. 

Well this really stinks but i didn't get the library job i don't know exactly where i'll work i'm thinkinng target or a grocery store or something? i really wish i was 18 my friend megan works at a daycare place with good hours but no.. not till later .. i'll find something i'm sure . any suggestions anybody? 

Anyways let's see what else.. Been tryign to do school it was going ok but i don't like math.. I've been practicing the music for choir and it's great. :-D Kay's got a camp interview so other then saturday going to sell chocolate i'll be by myself.. yay! i can sing without her getting mad

We've got some graduation stuff done which is good nothing much else.. i'll write later!

 hey ! it's been a bit .. i've had a pretty good week and a half it was sortof dampened by the fact my friends grandmother died which was sad for her i went to the funeral and that day i was also just thinking about the future kay's getting things more straightned out for her so wanting to think about mine so more it's so cool to think i can do what i and God want me to do . :-) and i had a good talk for kay. i love sisters. and also that  even what i think is impossible really isn't if God is behind me . iv'e got so much stuff but right now i'm just being hapy. there's some family stuff with us right now it's hard but i'm trying to trust God and know he's in control even though it really seems this shoudln't be happening looks like it is what will happen.. anyways things will come back .. i will have chores to do songs to pratice singing but i'm just happy now. Today was great really more tonight i helped with the 5 and 6 year olds as usual that was good then service came home ate lunch went on the computer and came home went at 3 to work on skit which was really fun last skit a girl ad-libbed and made fun of her now i get to make fun of her it's easy which is good since it's next week .. then yeah choir was good i really liked all the songs then we danced randomly the cupids shuffle and the electric slide  after that and that was cool , ate then went to small groups we went to starbucks and just hung out and played phase 10 i think i might have won i'm not sure? haha and then i came home and listend to music it was really cool to just  get away for a minute . but yeah that's whats going on with me mostly i hope to  stay happy and trust in God . hope you all can do the same! church stuff coming up graduation social that kinda stuff oh and anybody wanna buy chocolate? that would be awesome 

The way you love me

I wanted to write something a prayer i had the other night. I wanted to start with a bit from new moon..

 ( i didn't write the next paragraph it's from new mooon , if you're reading twilight don't read this otherwise you'll be confused and like what the heck or it'll give something away and you'll be mad at me . it's from new moon page 375. it  was written by stephanie meyers )in case you hadn't read the story edward left bella thinking he didn't love her jaccob is her best friend who loves her but she doesn't love him like that.  She was heartbroken and hears his voice when she's doing something dangerous so she can't get edward from her mind but she loves Jacob too  as a friend and he's really helped her through it all and she's thinking.

" I remember wishing that Jacob were my brother. I realized now that all I really wanted was a claim on him. It didn't feel brotherly when he held me like this . It just felt nice- warm and comforting and familiar. Safe. Jacob was a safe harbor. I could stake a claim. I had that much within my power. I'd have to tell him everything I knew that . It was the only way to be fair. I'd have to expain it right , so that'd he know I wasn't settling , that he was much too good for me. He already knew that I was broken, that part wouldn't surprise him, but he'd need to know the extent of it. I'd even had to admit that I was crazy - explain about the voices I heard. He'd need to know everything before he made a decision . But even as I recognized that necessity , I knew that he would take me in spite of it all .He wouldn't even pause to think it through. I would have to commit to this-commit as much of me as there was left-every one of the broken pieces. It was the only way to be fair to him. Would I? Could I? Would it be so wrong to try and make Jacob happy? Even if the love I felt for him was no more then a weak echo of what I was capable of , even if my heart was far away , wandering and greaving for after my fickle Romeo , would it be so very wrong?"

I want to point out something.

I think that's how so many people feel. Damaged goods. I just hope people know no matter  how many times you've felt like this, no matter how many times you've messed up, God loves you so much he just wants you to confess to him and follow him . He doesn't want you to feel pain anymore. A reason I wanted to do this was to compare things ( THIS COMPARISON ISN'T HOW I FEEL ABOUT THE TWILIGHT BOOKS SO NO COMMENTS ' EDWARD IS BETTER ' OR ANYTHING PLEASE ) I wanted to use this part of the book because of the pain and how torn she is. Anyways my comparison is that Jacob's love is like how God's is for us , he wants us despite how broken we are and to fix us . The love bella has for edward can be compared to how we feel pulled to our own desires. The control we think we have over our lives, the friends that we could lose , the secret sins we enjoy and don't want to give up.  We worry if we can givei t up, how it wouldn't be fair to God if we couldn't. ( which in reality our flesh will always be a part of us so we will always mess up , we just need to come back to God for forgiveness) 

And now a prayer I wrote a few nights ago.

Lord how you love me is so great. , so amazing. I don't know how you do it. I wish I could . Oh I konw what you made me , but LORD, how could you as a human with ' no beauty or majesty that would draw us to you' ,how much more ordinary am I ( And you see us so much better , how bad we really are!) how much more more unloveable am I, a sinner. LORD I can understand a hair of a drop , no a molecule of a drop, and that drop is in the ocean. Like how a mother loves her child. He causes her pain , so much pain LORD. He is ugly after he comes out of the womb, yet a mother would do just about anything for that baby , she doesn't think of it as ugly ( or am I wrong?) yet I understand why you would want to be loved but you know there is so much pain , you knew about . I'm pretty positive I couldn't do that. . I don't know why or how you love me for sure . I don't think I can really comprehend it. I do know when: from the beginning you loved me and I'm asking a different one , I understood the answer to the question What now? To love the LORD my God with all my heart , stength and mind . I can't do it I don't know why yet you love me anyways... So I want to try - Barbara Harper p.s. I love you. 

I just want to add again LORD you're so amazing you know we will hurt you, you know at times we will love you then for some  crazy reason we get distracted and put that before you. What you deserve for giving your life for us , our love and trying to thank you and live for you we can't even give you that. So I still don't know why you love me and I know I'll fail but I want to try and love you help me do that LORD.

  I have an idea now .. I'm going to make a blog just for writing about God's love. oh and you should listen to the song ' the way you love me ' by ZoeGirls it's an amazing song.

My day

 i felt like posting again .. 

 Today i went and helped at the church because i was asked that was pretty cool talked to this lady.. turned in checks so i have more money in my bank account wohoo! came home ate lunch yummy leftovers .. :-D let's see then went on the computer got some math done hung out some clothes i washed .. took a shower ate dinner and went to a little party for people who had helped teach sunday school that was funny there was good desserts and we played catch phrase which was really fun. It's kinda funny to watch how into it some people get throwing it to the next person trying to get people to guess . haha. good times good times. somehow even with crazy crossroads people :-P Then I watched house bunny with carrie and kay and now i'm just online chilling.. tomorrow nothing really chores maybe chilling around here ... then sunday connections day and a swat meeting for the mission trip.. fun fun! And some more next week but hopefully i'll be able to tell you those myself as they come! 

What's been going on lately

Alright I'm actually posting again I guess since i was preparing to write something in my other blog i was thinking of what i could put in here.This morning when I woke up wasn't that great I heard the washing machine running and i'm ugh! I heard it buzz meaning it was done.I thought my dad had started it earlier ( because i didn't do it the yesterday) and I wasn't looking forward to the 1st thing I do in the moring be to have to go hang out clothes or that someone else had felt they had to start the clothes I had been planning to do them . Anyways I did put them up and I had music so that made it a bit better but i stil wasn't the happiest I got some more clothes washed and then had to figure where to put them my mom helped me I was then annoyed when i did get to get ready in the morning i was putting my contacts in and frusterated about this one wasn't getting clean and i would put it in and it was irritating my eye kay heard me and she actually called thomas and had him cheer me up  which was nice and she talked to dad i guess and he said it was nice i had done the clothes but really (i didn't realize this till later it was adeles clothes i just beat her to them she did thank me i was just in a bad mood ) that he didn't want me to be upset i explained it and he's oh you can let adele do her clothes , and that he doesn't want to work me too hard.  i'm glad i have a family that's nice when i'm in a bad mood like i was , even when i know i shouldn't let it. anyways what's been going on with me... . 

 i've been good i might get a job at my local library i'm hoping. I'm excited about it I had an interview and that went pretty well. I would get a vacation time , I could switch times with other library pages if I needed too which would be really good , and I have less hours during school full time in summer . And even a bit of holiday time which would be great. I'm hoping and praying about it . I could finally see if I could be cut out for library work..  I've got graduation ( crazy I know! ) , prom  so some fun senior things coming up so i'm excited. i'm hoping for a mission trip to WV and help with a Bible school  and do concerts in a park and do mission work i really want to go if i get the library job which i hope to .( i would get vacation and use it then i just have to ask before and if i DON'T then i'll have off on my birthday that's right it's during my birthday. One reason why I really want to go. I think it would be fun to be around friends. Even though I'll be turning old as the vbs kids will think i'm sure though i don't look at it least. 18 does sound old for me and I'm kinda glad i'm not there yet.) 

 I did well in my soc class I got a B, the Xmas spectacular went well ( Xmas show at my church i helped serve and sang in the choir ) i really enjoyed that I had a fun time new years at a lock in .. I'm going to continue my daycare jobs  ( though kay isn't coming with me to the wednesday job... :-(  but oh well they're getting someone else..) even if i get the library job actually i'm pretty sure , if i dont' get the libray job my friend carrie will help me make a resumme and I'll apply to other places. I've finally got my schedule more worked out I think with school , I plan on just finishing up home school for right now and working on college classes later. It's hard to work , class, and homeschool at the same time. Just 2 can be tough! Anyways So that's whats been going on lately other then church stuff , school and chores. Oh another tibit I went to the dentist and it'll be time soon for me to get my wisdom teeth out and surprise surprise kay too! We really are a package deal , work together a lot , class together sometimes ,braces on and off together , and now wisdom teeth taken out together! it is crazy! so wish me luck with that. Well i hope you all are doing well i'm going to go I hope to try and post more but we'll see and go read my other blog with elizabeth!