what loneliness can do

Loneliness. It swallows you up.
Overtakes you, suddenly in you caved
Suddenly you’re falling realizing you’re.
All alone with no hope of being saved.

You hate having a lot of time
Thinking too much drives you insane
You try and keep yourself busy
And keep yourself from the pain

So you try and make plans
To do the absolute best that you can
You makes goals , do this and that but..
Seems like only you don’t have your own clan

With all the things you’re doing to distract
and fill your time can’t help that feel that you..
You’e really only doing these things because …
You’re the reject .and don’t have anything better to do

You decide to take a walk down the road
hoping maybe you can clear your head
It does just the opposite from what you hoped
You end up just wanting to go cry in your bed

you start over thinking things way too much..
Short hellos ,no real connections..still you try
Befriending people but no one seems to care
So much to give but …still alone and you can only cry

All you want is someone
To care to be able to know
Despite you being broken
They would still love you so.

If they saw you at your worst
The meanest version of yourself
Or the one crying out for a need
Not known even in a file in your head’s shelf

Someone who won’t label or judge
if you'e needy clingy or desperate,
weak or that you’re not enough
They won’t judge and as friend won’t quit.

Someone to always be there for you
Through all of life , the good bag and ugly
Though they may not agree with you always
Will stick with you and always your friend be

life

So.... Have had a rough patch here and there but who hasn't? Mainly one big one . Thankfully God came through as He always does. Details eh but good news is I got a job at food lion! yaay! I am going to be a cashier at food lion. Which should be fun . My summer is going a lot different then I thought it would be but that's alright. I am not doing so many of all my goals but ..I think that's alright too. Honestly some of there were a bit much. Keep in mind they were when I thought when I would have nothing else to do. some I hope to do. Get good at hairstyles and makeup. Learn a bunch of phrases in a bunch of different languages. So far all I know is lo que flota su barco which is whatever floats your boat in spanish.

Maybe later I will get others. Call my mema once a week. Sadly I haven't done this ..I did call about a week ago and she didn't pick up. Meet with my sweet next door neighbor nanny once a week. Also haven't done. :/ Memorize all the Taylor Swift songs. Nope I know a lot though. Take a walk everyday and eventually be able to run most of 1.1 mile route. Sadly not everyday. I did d oone of my goals and drank water for a week. I do often though. Prank call someone at least once a week. I am afraid I'd laugh hope to work on that one though.

Put up videos of me singing on youtube. Nope. I did make hashbrowns though which made me excited. It is crazy how much time you have when you're waiting for your schedule from work and only babysit sparingly since you're done with official babysitting. Even if I don't do all goals if I work and babysit, figure out fall schedule, hang out with people and maybe talk with nanny and my mema often, write some , do a bit of language and walk,figure out when to transfer out of community college won't be doing too bad. Oh and new one today . Drink all the sobes. But not the sobe waters. ick .those don't look good. and will be eh about honey green tea i had green tea and didn't like it. We shall see how it goes... :P