All I want for Christmas

A a job

B family to stay happy

C to figure out where I want to transfer too and what I want to do there

D be able to pay for it

E Job after school

F Godly friends to hang out with

G a boyfriend ( don't HAVE to have one but would like one honestly..)

H my best friend liz to come visit me

I to join choir again

Still on job hunt, and a certain fast food place made me wait almost 20 minutes out in the cold-before i could be interviewed outside in the cold. Keep on applying best I can.. but we shall see. I've had some babysitting gigs which has been cool. and what's cooler? I got my license!! yaaaay. but really really want job and be able to save money for school but mostly pay for insurance since my parents need money. :/ I got the beauty mark removed from my face which is cool and using scar cream though it isn't bad. :-) family christmas was fun kay got house and is moving out soon so offcially i will have my own bathroom which is exciting.

but means during weekdays me that has to do dinner (during weekdays) dishes trash recycle bin clean bathroom and kitchen. :-/ but dad will help so that is good. and i do pretty much all cooking anyways. or mostly. love daddy but annoying how picky he is no it's not done yet .. let's do this or that. ugh. :-/ kinda lame but i don't like experimenting with someone looking over my shoulder i like knowing i have everything under control. anyways i got curling iron and practiced and I can curl my hair which is fun. so I can curl my hair for the wedding if no one else can help me with it.

I am up and down again. i am depressed a lot. i got my license finally so that was good. after i got my brake lights fixed which really drove dad nuts. kay is gone a lot. my friends are busy. so it sucks. i can't wait for school to start. and i really hope i can find work soon. kay's leaving soon . i'll be alone. i don't know how i can take more then a month of this . and then a while longer for school to start.now have no clue how long i'm going to go to rccc or where i'm transferring too. it's been forever since i've been on a walk so i'm gonna go on one now.and ate a lot. i don't wanna get fat. aha. had good moment other night talked to God need some more of that. again as always i'm doing the best i can.

songs for people

To jobs I want to sing:
Take a chance on me ..
I will do any job and work hard
I'll be good for you why can't you see?

The song for the one is always there:
Thank you for being a friend
I love you hope to see you soon
I miss you thanks for the time you lend

To Colleges : calling you
I am tired of playing phone tag
Is it that hard to call me back?
So confused feel like I'm going zig-zag

To s.c. and others: scream from zoegirl
it that hard to call or a leave a message to send?
I mean some I understand
but s.c.you guys suck : the end.

To the group why can't we be friends
all dressed up ,you all feel so fake
you make it difficult ,in your groups
but still i go , guess until find people it's what i gotta take

same old same old

Kinda sad mostly what i have to look forward too lately is the fact i can watch tv shows i want too online now i see. other then that? not much. i haven't hung out with someone in a while other then work since i don't know when. i failed my driving test because of a idiotic mistake . i go to college group and it's ok last time went pretty well i guess. just sucks everyone is too busy. marissa hardly ever texts , jenny is busy, mom and dad are together , kay and thomas adele and joey. liz has school work her friends and life now. but nothing with me has changed. not really. it always seems at night i'm depressed. i don't know why. i had interview at daycare i really want to get it. ugh. talked to old friend and that was cool but he said he'd call ... so far no. so this sucks. just do what i can to stay busy listen to music take walks lately lot of tv. and it just sucks when your close friend when you do talk gets all over you because she's taking a communications class just because you ask her how are you . ugh. walks only thing that make me happy. kinda sad but almost true. not exactly. i love my fish. aha. i sound so pathetic. not all the time as bad as it sounds but i have moments. doesn't help i have no friends just about and my sister is a jerk because she's getting married-when she's here. i want to save money and go away for school . i really do. that would be great. but if i can get scholarship to work out still a lot of money left for living and food and books and stuff. :/ so that's my life right now. and plus if i could work it out to live in wa easily i would like too. *sighs* again as always i'm doing the best i can.

help

I have to take walks everyday to keep my sanity . If i don't I get so restless. I am not happy here. I am turning desperate. Help please God?

Still nothing changed really..

Well still no job. I had an interview but not sure it went the greatest. She asked about work history and she didn't let me finish and then asked about how I would feel about talking with customers and things and kinda worked in you always has to think about guest at cbcc. I HATE filling out applications and when they don't have enough room. :-/ But i did my best. So we shall see .. I applied to these cafeteria assistant jobs at schools and I called the schools and talked to cafeteria managers and a few said they'd call me about an interview but zip. I have applied to cicis pizza pizza hut books a million given my resume to yogurt mountain lots of care.com jobs , petco, petsmart, food lion , bloom, food nutrition job, bath and body works, american eagle, rack room shoes, journeys, subway , aeropostle , rue 21 , rainbow, walden books , aerie, the cafeteria jobs, rocky river house cafe , walmart,bojangles,sonic, burger king and even mcdonalds. And no new job yet. Hopefully soon will hear from lady about working at my old church as secretary. I got to hang out with my friend marissa was fun she's busy a lot though. want to hang out with my friend madison and even maybe a double date but haven't heard back. told my friend jenny to get back to me when she can hang out nothing told lisa she should come hang out after church one day, was supposed to meet my friend marcos to meet me at rccc he wasn't there . i'm tired of trying so hard for people. I'm trying to not spend so much time on facebook. I had my family reunion which was fun got to see my half brother and his girlfriend . and i drove up there which is 3 hours there 3 hours back :-) so i am proud i did that. driving with dad has been ups and downs.. :-/ So is my life. got to hang out with kay and thomas once when sarah hayes was here .for a change got to go see people. had a busy weekend. at clothing store job i applied at and had interview i would have to work starting 11 on weekends so we'll see how that goes might have to figure something out and not be able to work with the kids not sure. i really wanna find a job so i can sign up for classes at rccc. before they get filled up. ;-/ i'll figure something out though. praying . i've been taking walks around the neighborhood lately which has been nice. Once i passed a little girl and she asked me what my name was her name was courtney. hopefully doesn't think i'm her age. but you know one of the things about being short. going to print out more applications and my resume and write letter and prepare to send stuff off.

I am doing the best that i can

that really seems to be my motto. one of my favorite books In it there are quotes one is : Dear God , I'm doing the best I can. -Frank childrens letters to God. I feel the same as frank... except my best never seems to be good enough. It talks about spirituality " Nothing wrong with the spirituality of monks .Monks certainly experience a kind of spirituality a way of seeking and knowing God but what about the rest of us?
What about those of us who live in the city have a wife or husband three children two cats, and a washing machine that has stopped working? What about those of us who are single work sixty to seventy hours a week , have parents who wonder why we're not married and have friends who make much more money then we do? What about those of us who are divorced , still trying to heal from the scars of rejection , trying to cope with the single-parenting of children who don't understand why this has happened to them? Is there a spirituality for the rest of us who don't have it all together and probably never will? " It then talks about how spiritual growth comes in different ways , how Jesus loved everyone but seemed to hang around with losers. Told stories which show forgiveness and acceptance is more important then condemning . something people need to learn

why do things have to be so complicated?

In several days I can sign up for RCCC classes. Do I have any idea what I am going to do? no. I know that biology 2 I can take a hybrid class or I can take a astronomy class and lab online. The only class I cannot take online is Statistics which would be better for me to take for the math. I could take an online computer class though. Which I am not sure what to do. I want to move to WA but I would need a job .. and also a car to get to the job so liz's family wouldn't have to cart me around all the time.

Especially for a job I would have to go to a lot.( though kay said she'd drive out with me..) Also I would have to figure out the license thing. And anyways sounds like liz is looking for full time work which I am not sure how it will work since she's in school but she's so busy all the time i doubt i'd get to see her a lot so it is almost what's the point? I was hoping to just do summer visits but would be good if I could work out there too for $ . Also there is the cbcc summer staff reunion in january and my friend is getting married it would be really cool . but if i go i want to go for a while.. summer job at cbcc would be perfect but don't know if that'll work.. :-/ feels like all the time would be easier for me to just go to rccc .

If I went to classes I could meet people and be easy for me to work. No financial aid this semester possibly next semester but I could take a few classes with how i have a 300 dollar scholarship so that will help pay . I will probably either go to uncc nearby home or campbell possibly if i can figure out the scholarship thing after rccc. hopefully work do what i can. that's life i guess...

Loneliness sucks

Well sadly I've been home. I feel kinda bad but people ask me a lot if I am happy to be home. And a bit I am. It is nice to see my crazy dogs to ( with parents at least) to be able to drive my car, to see my family especially getting surprised with my half brother and his girlfriend was awesome.I love my new betta fish simon! he is red and purple and is awesome. But lately honestly? Not constantly but home has sucked. Really. I come home hoping soon to get to hang out with friends they say they miss me...only have hung out with one friend. It stinks. One friend got a boyfriend while I was gone.

She's busy either school work or with thomas her fiancee. :-/ Another friend does school online and works hopefully will hang out with her thursday. One of my guy friends basically ditched me . tried to stay in contact but he never picks up phone hardly ever responds online.. :-( and he said he would be one of the people who would still be there. And it hurts. I feel pathetic honestly. I am almost always at home half the time it is like I am home alone since kay and mom are gone a lot and dad sometimes goes places or takes naps . And then when we are home we're all in our own little world just about i hope to interact more less on computer and phone when fam is around ..drama going on and it's really lame and stupid. and everyone else has school and work. I have online class so i'm not going to school all the time like everyone else and right now I work once a week. I am hopefully soon going to have more work soon and get license which I am excited about . I have filled out a lot of applications and i have an interview at bath and body works tomorrow. I am praying it will go well .Thought for a bit my purse was stolen. but thankfully it wasn't i just lost it and got it back with everything so i was VERY glad.

Really I am lonely. I mean i go with dad to practice driving places sometimes but other then few errands and work and church ( which church i am not really connected with many people anymore i see people talk to them but not going to make plans to hang out with them) i want to be in choir and get connected with the college group if i can really bad. well i do have some school that will need to get done eventually it is really late and will have to get up eventually and will need to take the time to look pretty and hopefully clean some tomorrow as haven't done too much of that lately..

Well now i am done at cannon beach had good and fun times...
I know am a lot better at changing diapers and dealing with babies . I can lead toddlers in a short lesson and even give people orders about what needs to get done . well i got a bit of practice in the rec center. I stacked golf balls . Dealt with crying babies spit up drama with people the same food over and over again ... overall a good summer lot of memories. long ways. I hopefully have a job with more hours so i can get my license. I really felt this summer went by fast. wish i hadn't spent so much time in my room. More time out with people. But felt i needed my me time . i had a few moments where i guess i remembered some things but really.. i didn't learn much this summer from God. i got asked that all the time what did you learn this summer. and honestly? It got old . really old. They are always shoving stuff down your throat and doing a lot never got a lot of devo time. I need to work on that. I am as always doing the best I can. Basically this summer i had fun didn't make a lot of money and was stuck with the same people trying to force bonding time when i have school and want to hang out with liz. if it hadn't been for our times coming home and driving with almost 2 hours to talk.. would have gone crazy. not all of it was bad. but cannon beach is a bubble. everyone is learning talking about what they learned and again i hated it. I got asked it every week. They have you do a lot of stuff and they keep you busy and then you're tired and devos sadly a lot when down the drain . I worked till 11 3 nights out of the week . Ussually in rec center so never got out 11. You have devotions every morning teach lessons in 2's and 3's and then you get guilted if you don't go to snl (church sunday night) and moonshadows.then you have the staff events like the boat race and things to prepare for or program outings and do something nice for another age group. I don't really feel like i did that much while i was here. I chatted with people and taught lessons for toddlers who aren't going to remember it and held babies. Wish i could have been there more gotten to know more people but i didn't.

I came all the way from NC for what? I became a bit more independent and now don't care as much about fixing my hair or makeup but i know i'm going to hear about that from my sisters. I hate how I am now i am tired head is fuzzy. It does bug me in church they talked about love is all you need to love God with everything and put God 1st. How do you do that? Is it even possible to ALWAYS have God first? i don't know about you but i don't know if i can think about God 24/7. I have questions.. Do people have a chance to go to heaven I thought I read God preaches to the dead and they have a last chance? is it all on us as Christians ? I mean i know it says creation is a sign of God but still it pulls on me a lot thinking about it i know i can't save everyone but it wears on you thinking about people's souls people you aren't sure of.. maybe a bit too much how am i showing Christ to others? I haven't really witnessed to people been to shy to bring up God a lot .. something i was reminded off people have a lot going on they need acceptance respect and love instead of someone just judging them . So i do think about God but I am always distracted looking at watch in church wondering how long it will be ready to go when it's over feel bad but it is how i feel like i am in school in a class. i haven't been able to connect at church in a while . during worship during everything distracted... I have people that need things , things to do. to do lists are constantly pulling at me. I want to read to sleep to hang out with liz put away clothes is a big one i need to make clothes fit in my suitcase and figure that out i leave tuesday. i want to drink my drink to get rid of it to make more room and to hang out with gabby her parents and for a situation to get fixed i haven't talked to my family in a few days need to remind them when i come home.. my class i read a chapter but been a while don't want to lose all info in my brain which is scatterbrained as it is if you couldn't tell. one thing is why do people always put so much emphasis always on sexual purity? i know it is important and can be very messy if it doesn't happen but it is always beat over our heads. everyone is ' the young people are doing this and going out and having sex and ...' OVER AND OVER. why? it really makes the purity thing overplayed a lady spoke on it during devotions i was like ..... not wanting to be there. i always feel guilty like that but i just hate it that that always gets run into the ground . If we do mess up God will forgive us if we are repentent i know our hormones are crazy or whatnot but i think some people think you won't be forgiven and that is not true. my random 2 cents.

Apparently I only update this once a month. Well i've hung out with people , leslie robert amber ben liz kendra stacy ruth peggy lisa sarah patrick lauren dani christine amy lots of awesome people. it will be sad to leave. this fall looks boring and dull and i don't want summer to end except for the room inspecions, the quiet hours and being so far from home. No privacy as well. But i mean we had a duct tape boat race. Which was crazy awesome. our team didn't win but.. Love being around cute babies.. except when they cry. I have gotten so experienced with changing diapers. Lesson is slowly getting better for the 2's and 3's.

last time we only had a few 2 and 3 year olds so that was different. a lot has gone on... my friend's dad died and it was really sad. was glad i got to later be there for her.. hard to know what to do in those situations. Really worst was my friend was closer to him and his daughter then i am .. it is sad and he will be missed but it is life. He is in heaven and we will see him soon. was kinda eh about work tonight but it was good. Gone to liz's house which has been nice. love seeing her family and petting her dogs. :-) will be glad to get to see my own.. and my family though. i really do hope i get my license so i can do stuff.

i am working once a week babysitting need to apply to more care.com stuff.

ugh today ugh. loong lesson went ok felt bad zeke crying but yeah. just tonight. stupid knee won't pop. feel bad cuz feel like been a jerk to robert stacy and liz and feel like let people at work down that i've ever done a rec shift with feel like an idiot having to be let in when I have the keys ! i am checking this door think it's locked it's not i'm trying to lock it check it and it is can't get it to unlock and then think i lock it again but don't wayne had to do it. . and then everyone else had to finish i feel bad they all finish 11:15 i'm not there i'm there we finish 11:30. :-/ uggh. really?? makes me feel like i am ocd and too slow. did i put sheet in right place ? feel idiot leading tyler around up running track cuz i have no sense of direction looking for g21 to get his ipod . and i didn't feed my fish. was that girl not supposed to be there?some girl said she wasn't a guest but had permission to be there was guest in past from hawaii?

Well a lot has been going on. We've finished up training had the first few weeks of conferences which has been awesome! I've gone to portland and seaside which has been fun. Also back to where liz is for a concert . Hung out with some awesome people laughed a lot. We've had lots of kids and a few kids. I turned 19 which was awesome .My mom sent me cookies! yaay. so that was fun. I got sung to like 5 times got a smoothie, ice cream, soap shaped like a bug , a dollar, cheerwine ( which i loooved) , the cookies, candy and a starfish. it was an awesome birthday. Bible study is cool love my roomies jamie and cece. I miss home somewhat but this place is pretty awesome. It was sad when i heard my twin sister was going to get proposed too and i wasn't even on the same side of the country. She said yes . I imagine my sister and mom being all excited about it and it is sad. I am excited for her but sad i have to miss that moment though it was at camp but still. The kids have been really cool. I like being in the nursery and getting better with the 2's and 3's I seem to like the really shy little girls a lot. There was one abby i got her to not have to be held the entire time. I got her to do a puzzle and later she played. Same thing with little girl ava. Sometimes they won't do everything but better then having to have one person one on one with them. It takes and bit and sometimes they have moments but it went well. Loving rooming with liz and schedules conflict sometimes but we both have wednesdays off. yaay. which is tomorrow. and better get some sleep if i want to actually be UP at all tomorrow and not sleep WHOLE day away and i had stuff i needed to do wash clothes pay for school hope to call people...

Well been through 10 days of teacher training which was crazy. always back and forth it seems with nursery and 2's and 3's. always hmm where is this and praying there isn't a time change. I was late yesterday and i felt horrible. Everything was crazy had 7 babies . then was late to rec center when heard it would be fine i would be late then got back 11:40 . Locking up and everything was so confusing! i just feel crappy now. But really what i want to know is whatever happened to when someone looks like they are having a bad day saying i'm sorry and trying to help instead of telling them about all your problems? i might have done it but i really hope to think before i do it. it isn't helpful.

So past week have been hanging with the mobergs doing stuff with liz and her family and friends. Saturday I played baseball and then liz got rearened wasn't her fault car stopped few cars behind her didn't stop.. pretty crazy mini van has a huge dent in the back. everyone is fine. went to church goodwill to get pants and other stuff..then church Monday nothing much went outside it was nice went and read. Loved it! Then tuesday hung out with ruth and ben we went to the powells bookstore in portland it was awesome! there were books everywhere which was really cool. After that ruth was awesome and hemmed up my pants from goodwill. She is a short girl's savior went to eat mexican with her family which was awesome.

Wednesday was going to the rose bowl festival but it rained so didn't want to chance it being canceled then didn't wanna get soaked if it wasn't. so went to the mall and that was cool got a few things. After that packed went to church liz had a suprise party which was cool . a small going away gathering at applebees she loved it poor thing was so stressed had final next day she didn't get 4hours of sleep that night. anyways she did school i packed went with her mom into town and that was fun. Came backed packed.. and left. thankfully got here on time got packets quick tour unpacked . then after that had dinner unpacked more chilled in staff lounge. Today had staff meeting then had orientation then teacher training. which i have until the conference starts with the kids. They are keeping us busy! It is fun getting the hang of it was more worried about getting lost i walked around for a long time tonight got my bearings more. and crazy fast paced games but i do my best. :-) well more later thought i'd catch you up .

Thursday I woke up and had a blueberry bagel. I went to the grocery store with liz's mom peggy and her friend colleen. We got some lunch there. After that we came home and I called kay and adele they couldn't really talk texted some people and then i called my dad and got to talk to both my parents. I was really happy to get to talk to them. Also the sun came out so I was like yaay! when I saw it. :-) Went and talked with liz's mom which was cool. Also my package came I sent to myself. It had barbecue sauce for a charity auction. It also had some cherry jam for the mobergs which peggy was really excited. Also some window car paint which I couldn't take on the plane since it's flameable. Hung out at home with liz and matt ate dinner and went to pick up rose and went to Bible study. Which was fun . We had cinnamon rolls after. After dropping off rose and esther who was sleeping over at rose's we went to get barbecue liz's brother matt is hosting a baseball game and we're having ribs with it. It should be really good. yuum

I then went to baggage claim and found liz and her family waiting for me. We went to go eat lunch which was good. After that we went to her house and me and liz talked a long time . We went to church which was fun. I met some her friends. They had food after so we ate that then left. We then went to go see her sister brother in law and very cute nephew Justus who is 9 months old. :-) We sat and talked with them for a long time then came home.

Monday we hung out at home for a little while then went to Aly liz's friend from the baking program at school who i met last summer, had a cake tasting party . We went to that and picked up our friend Sam another baker I met last summer. The cake was good hung out and talked with them. After that me liz aly and sam and I went to the mall . We looked in stores had a bit of food and hung out which was fun. We went home after dropping the girls off then came home. Ruth and Ben her sister and brother in law were there with Justus so we talked with them for a while. Ben is helping with a breast cancer research auction since I'm from NC I brought a chick-fil-a cow and a barbecue sauce . The barbecue sauce was mailed so I'm hoping it will be here soon.

Tuesday morning Elizabeth had school . She mentioned she hadn't had cheese grits so I made her some . I woke up early to make her some and I ate and I made her some Russian tea. It was good. The girts seemed different but were still good. I then went back to sleep and she left for school . I woke up and ran some errands with Ruth and Justus. That was fun. We got food at Mcdonalds then went to ruth and bens place and waited till liz got there. We were all going to ... dun dun dun a baseball game! We drove a long tim to get to the game in Seattle. It was a mariners game. It was fun. Me and Liz made a sign hoping to win some free fries and get on tv . The sign said " Bff from NC says her fries are better then Ralley fries. Help me prove her wrong!" haha. It was awesome. Watching the game was fun. We won! :-) We went to denny's after the game which was good. It was a long tiring drive back we were all so glad to get home. Talked a bit then crashed with liz. We went to be after 2 am. We were both really tired. Liz had to wake up and go to school poor thing.

I slept past noon. aha. I woke up took a shower , ate and tried to find service with not much luck. After that I went on the computer for a bit. Liz came back we talked some and went to take her brother to his guitar lesson. After that liz showed me where she does her school stuff. We went to the store to kill time then went to church which was fun. Her friends are crazy. They had food after the service which was nice. It was good . Came back home.I was glad to see some sunshine today. It has rained past few days as per usual here.The sunshine made me smile. I was hoping to call my dad today but unfortunately phone service is sketchy . Hopefully tomorrow So that is what has happened on my trip so far!

I had a party with mom dad kay thomas and adele which was fun we had hamburgers and hung out on the patio. That was fun. Thursday I hung out with Jenny after babysitting for kay who left for a wedding on thursday.She came back then left for camp on tuesday. Jenny got me an awesome Taylor Swift poster . :-D I had fun hanging out with her. Friday I hung out with Marcos which was fun. We walked around the mall.

So Saturday was the big day. I finished packing and left for the airport with my parents. I petted the dogs and cat and left before so that was nice i'm going to miss them. When I got to the airport I got my boarding pass checked my bag hugged my parents and went through security. Everything went well. I found where my flight left it still had old information which I thought was strange but waited. Then it turned out my flight was delayed. I was supposed to leave 4:35 but the plane wasn't going to leave for atlanta until 6:50 then it moved to 7:10. And my plane in atlanta to portland would have left before I got to Atlanta.

So they gave me a choice of either going on the plane to atlanta or waiting in charlotte and coming back to the airport. I couldn't get a flight to portland until the next morning. It was either stay in a strange city by myself and ' not be guaranteed' a hotel room, and also cabs and having to make sure i got to the airport in time for the flight. Or stay at home and fly to Minneapolis know in the morning, Knowing I would have a bed to sleep in and a ride to the airport won out .Everyone in the aiport was ticked off i felt bad for the airport people. It wasn't their fault. It took me a while to find my bag I had to go to bag services but thankfully I finally got it. I got to sit so that was nice.I then went home kept bags in the car took a few things out. I skyped with liz. I ate grits like 9 at night haha.

I then left the next morning. I went to the airport. I took a few extra minutes re-checking my bag in . I had to make sure I didn't get charged extra since bag got checked yesterday but I didn't go anywhere. But I got through.I almost thought I lost my permit but it was just in my hoodie pocket. I went through security. The security worker teased me saying " You forgot to take your laptop out of the case. "That's 20 pushups! " haha. :-) I then went to go look at the moniters to find the gate and where my plane would be leaving but they didn't have Minneapolis . I was ok.. I thankfully walked past security. They gave me back my laptop. I finally went to go ask a delta flight person behind a desk and it turned out to be my flight! so I was happy. They soon called 1st class people gold members , then silver. I really wanted cinnabon but oh well.

Also I noticed my shirt was on inside out. ahha. It happens. I did have to wake up early. I got on the plane and had a seat to myself . I slept a good bit. On my layover I got food ran into someone from my flight from Charlotte and talked to him he was nice. After that I got to my flight in a good amount of time. I didn't get to finish all my food but oh well. I sat next to an Asian Couple on the plane with their cute baby girl. She was sweet. I got to hold her for a minute . I offered while her dad had to move some of the luggage and her mother was gone. I kept her entertained looking out the window. I slept and read and wrote . It was a 3 hour flight. I was very glad to get off.

well it's been awhile. biggest change in my life i think is that our half brother michael went to go see my aunt Miriam and asked about my family. we haven't seen or heard from michael in almost ten years. he got on facebook so we've been talking to him on there . He wants to come visit us soon. so we're very excited about that. He told my dad he loved him and my dad is so happy. He's told me and kay he loves us too . which was really cool . got an C , B A, and A with school.

kay got contacts. adele got a part time job at a sushi place. Kay and thomas kidnapped me lately which was fun they took me to memorial gardens took pictures blindfolded me on the way as well . we got ice cream and they made a picture book so i won't forget them when i leave in 2 weeks.I hung out with marissa which was fun we washed her car and went to cookout . she is coming over soon and we will wash my car. Jenny her mom and I saw letters to Juliet yesterday. I lost my ipod then bought a new one on ebay was really happy to get it again. we're switching to at&t i spilled tea on my phone and old one of kay's i had to use is a piece of crap. but it can text at least. liz has been busy lately.. miss her . 2 weeks. gonna miss everyone here though.

Had a lot of ups and downs...

Made an A on my last math test which was pretty awesome!!!
Could be doing better in spanish. :/ Made a D on the first biolgoy test.. not that good ... Made a C on the 2nd one which was better and i am happy about! :-) Got the wisdom teeth out.. It was a lot of
$$$ and I was nervous about get it done.. but it I saved some money by not being put to sleep.

Everyone made it sound so horrible but it wasn't so bad. I was oh they're cutting my gum and I saw blood on the doctors gloves.. I took pain medication before. It was funny my friend marcos went to a church which has some sketchy stuff and a friend of his offered him some ibeprofen . So i tell him I've taken 6 ibeprofen he was like what.....? hahahh.

Don't worry it was for the surgery only. I took my pain meds and had ice which helped. Was hungry a bit ate but not as much as i wanted.. I had ice cream, grits, soup and jello. The first time i took the pain medication pill it made me really tired so I slept for a few hours. It was pretty funny it took me about 3 times to swallow the pill. My tongue was huge it would get stuck underneath my tongue and it tasted bad. It was all during my spiring break by the way. Kay was nice and made me grits, I had chipmunk cheeks and but it wasn't so bad.

I didn't really do much during my spring break. I went to a wedding of my friends mom and that was pretty fun... Kay had her wisdom teeth taken out but she is doing fine. A stupid guy at school was talking about me and asked if i was in 7th grade .. i told him no and I am just short and he's all "daang you're short as hell." that really ticked me off. >_< Kay wrote about me for english . :-) she had to write about someone beautiful so that was sweet. A jerk guy J i talked to is talking to my friend.. :/ I found a bunch of stuff I lost part of my tankini swimsuit ,sunglasses, camera batteries .

adele got kicked out of the house because she was not coming home. My parents had to come to that decision sadly since she would not listen.. :-( She is staying at a friends.. some people brought one of gypsy's old puppies and she was adorable. :-) I had a really crappy day last week driving with dad which ended up with me in tears after I got home he had a bad day too and it was a day i made a lot of mistakes can't seem to do anything right and dad was upset with me I could tell and it made me self-conscious and then really I couldn't do anything right i feel like i'm 10 years old again and I think no matter what i do he'll be mad at me..

he made me practice parking straight when all i want to do is go home.He said we would stay out there until I got it right. I am upset and frustrated and he doesn't care. I can't think straight let alone drive.He made me not want to drive at all. I am still driving with him and so far it's gone ok.I also found my ipod thankfully.. I am looking at tickets for WA . Been trying to have more quiet time with God . might have a writing in the works. So that has been my life lately..

I am tired... Really tired. i feel a lot people don't take me seriously. If I work hard at something and with God and maybe some help I can do it. I am very good at being there for people. I am not perfect and don't claim to be but I try to be a good listener and get what people are going through. I can be very funny I am a huge dork at times but I also can be good at being distracting . Do I try to hard? I can be there for people be funny ... maybe you need to take people more seriously. think about it.

School and future plans..

Well as usual life has its ups and downs. They ended up not needing anymore teachers with my thursday job so that really stinks. But I did get a few babysitting gigs which is nice. School has been going pretty well.. literature can be depressing at times.Biology is confusing and so is math at times.Spanish class is long. I broke a test tube in biology lab.. It was funny I let my teacher use my stress ball as an example in math class. Oh something interesting is I babysat valentines night which was fun - silly seven year olds. My dad gave me a small thing of chocolates I wore pink to go with the holiday. Helped out in sunday school as usual that was fun. The next day my friend ended up getting me lots of stuff which surprised me hahahah. I was single on the holiday once again but oh well it is life and as i always say to people it's life..if you open up your eyes you'll find that it gets better all the time time time time time time.' :-) Sugarland is awesome. Me and kay are going to get our wisdom teeth taken out so that should be fun.. not.. The big news is that.. I GOT THE JOB IN OREGON!!!!!! I KNOW!! I am really excited. ( if you couldn't tell..) So I will get to work in oregon this summer with oldest possible kids being 5 ..i will be near the beach with my best friend liz by the way who got the job and we could possible even be roommates! WOHOO!!! :-D but we shall see and if we're not then that'll be ok. I will leave in Late may most likely and will get back in september. it will be awesome. :-) it's a christian place working with kids . So this summer shall be exciting! I will take a few online classes so I can have more time for work and hopefully work more this fall. Pray for me and wish me luck folks! I went to go see valentines day with my friend jenny that was fun... loved taylor was in it but didn't like how they had her act a bit .. idk.. i started singing in the movie theather when today was a fairytale came on. haha.

Well school has been good. I am taking biology, college algebra, spanish 2 and my 1st online class introduction to literature. they're all going ok.

1st math test didn't go so well eh but biology is really cool cuz my friend jana is in there.My lab partner tracy is really cool too. In math it's kinda funny i know some people from math 080 and me and this one girl used to always sit together and it's how it turned out for college algebra as well. Introduction to literature is going pretty well which is good.

Work at providence is going pretty well..other work not so sure now so that sucks. :-/ well we had some snow which was pretty cool! Kay and adele were gone. kay was at a friends house and adele was in raleigh. i went and played in the snow by myself haha. I made a mini snowman

made a few new friends and talking with old ones.. like Tracy my lab partner and Justin a guy randomly met at rccc haha. Then good old friends marcos, jana , monica , audrey in math who i sat next too ..Jessica from spanish ended up being in my spanish 2. Hanging out with my jen tomorrow i haven't seen her in forever so i'm excited and then saturday i think monica is coming over so that should be fun. then sunday she was wanting to help me and my mom with the 4 year olds. we'll see how that goes.